Summer 2012 // Singapore.
I'm having another sleepless night, recently I've broken my sleeping pattern and I have a total lack of desire to sleep. I have too much on my mind. I'm having this never ending battle with myself wondering if I am making the right choices, whether sticking to England to build my own business is going to really pay off. Or do I just run away from it all, stop being a dreamer and act upon those dreams to get out of here, start a new life and live forever happy in the sun.
I've been back in London for the past couple of months and circumstances are leaving me in situations where I am not happy nor comfortable, for once in my little life I can honestly say I am missing Brighton, I am missing home. London was always a place for me that was going to be short lived, I knew it wouldn't take me long to get sick of it again. I feel demeaned, I feel unappreciated, I feel unsafe and it's a constant game that I find to be playing with myself at what point do I give up, or do I just bury my head and carry on? How easy it is for people to become trapped in ther conceptual prisons, this sentence by far holds me the guiltiest. I want more than to just exsist in day to day moments, which turn in to weeks, then months, eventually years. Last year slipped too quickly and I can't let the same happen again.
I just feel like theres' so much more to the world, theres' so much more to life than this little old place, than these silly situations. I have to hold myself back if I want to succeed or is it furthering myself? I feel very limited, I also feel as though I am rambling and should sleep, so I will, in a bit, maybe not at all.
It's funny how I've fitted these words to this photo, this was the summer that stole my confidence and one of my best friends and I really wasn't happy at all.
