Recent events have bought to light the fact I haven’t been blogging or very creative lately, I’ve been left alone with my negative thoughts and consequently I’ve indulged my bones into sinking deep in to my bed and refusing to be part of the outside world or sociable in any aspect. It’s quite challenging to participate in pointless conversation, pleasing people for the sake of false smiles and false promises, especially when the past year has left you feeling incredibly let down and with high bouts of trust issues. Needless to say I’ve become quite the hermit. Lots of large and promising events have been left tarnished perhaps at my own misfortune or perhaps because I put too much faith in others, either way they’ve been shot down and shattered and I have lost people I thought dear. I found all my experiences very damaging and I completely lost where I was going and who I wanted to be, I lost all faith and all trust in others and because of that alot of relationships broke down. People are very judging when they think you have money, they treat you far from fair and compensate their behavior by telling themselves it’s okay because your parents can fund your lifestyle. I can tell you now my relationship with my parents isn’t based around their bank balance, even if they has the notes to be throwing in my face at my every cry out for more money to cover my rent or my latest phone bill, I wouldn’t accept. I work hard and pride myself on earning my own money and enjoying my own things and not asking daddy to reach in his back pocket to chuck a few more notes my way.
It’s been well over year now and it’s long over due that I get back off this broken ground and pull myself back together, start aiming towards what I have been wanting for a long time. I need to stop getting caught up in what every body else is thinking and comparing my failure to their ‘happiness & success’. I don’t care about your money or your social situation and I wish others didn’t divide themselves upon this either, it’s getting more than tiring. I feel like I am being moulded in to the everyday 2.5 and it’s my own doing. So it’s time to stop it and it’s time to change it.
I don’t really know why I am putting this up here but I appreciate honesty on peoples personal sites as its a place to poke around and pry in to others lives and also a source of help. In a way its very intrusive and those who don’t have help from daddy’s pockets often don’t get a look in. I’ve come to learn that it’s these people who are becoming the new 2.5 and I hope I never become like them. Hopefully sometime in the not so distant future you’ll be reading lines that sing a bit happier.
It’s been well over year now and it’s long over due that I get back off this broken ground and pull myself back together, start aiming towards what I have been wanting for a long time. I need to stop getting caught up in what every body else is thinking and comparing my failure to their ‘happiness & success’. I don’t care about your money or your social situation and I wish others didn’t divide themselves upon this either, it’s getting more than tiring. I feel like I am being moulded in to the everyday 2.5 and it’s my own doing. So it’s time to stop it and it’s time to change it.
I don’t really know why I am putting this up here but I appreciate honesty on peoples personal sites as its a place to poke around and pry in to others lives and also a source of help. In a way its very intrusive and those who don’t have help from daddy’s pockets often don’t get a look in. I’ve come to learn that it’s these people who are becoming the new 2.5 and I hope I never become like them. Hopefully sometime in the not so distant future you’ll be reading lines that sing a bit happier.
